Unbearable life ........?

I'm boy 17 years old brother of 6 sisters and family full of girls and living in a very small house any body know how much ******* boring this is. I only have 1 cousin who is 13 years old there is no boys activity running in our family programs i have over protective parents that didn't let me get out with my friends any where. And when u see all the boys in ur same age going everywhere they want and ur locked in your home do u know how much this is painful. My mother used to hit me when I was kid when she's stressed she pick on me. My life style made me antisocial and I hate girls honestly and I never had a girlfriend I find it very hard to make friends with boys since I don't have any common interests I got bullied a lot in school I got mental problem and I can't defend my self I'm afraid to death to be involved in fights. I had 1 best friend in elementary school and he became my sworn enemy because I insulted his friend... And he know a lot of kids in school and they threatening me every day after I kicked he's @ss in a fight and I forget about getting out of my home any where because I'm afraid that they may found me and I get beaten up I changed my school but I'm alone now no friends no life I'm in this school for 3 years now and its the same and I feel I'm gonna be a retarded and I feel stressed I lost a lot of memories and forget how to speak to people and my conclusion dropped too low. I lost my social skills and the joy in life I didn't laugh even once the last 3 years and I feel like dying and my parents felt guilty now for what have they done to me when I was a kid and I told them to forget about forgiveness I really hate them and my stupid family my grades are ****** up I m not in mood for studying I feel I'm wasting my youth. And even life after college is more boring the job the mirage having kids ... I don't want any of these and this my ******* life in a nut shell I don't know how to live right and make deference in my life